I'm not built for boys

It's tough being an only child.  I know, people always think "but you were probably spoiled!  You got all of the attention and gifts and never had to worry about a brother or sister harassing you..."

I guess in a few ways, being an only child was not so bad.  But let me tell you - I would have loved to have had a brother or sister.

And do you want to know why? 

Because it might have given me some clue - any clue at all - into what the heck sibling relationships are supposed to look like! 

Seriously.  Half the time I'm trying to assess whether my kids are exhibiting normal sibling behaviours or if they are just totally mental.  I usually feel they are the latter although it's probably the former. 

For example, the boys.  

I mean, these two seem like they can get along about two-thirds of the time but the other third they are trying to kill each other.  And they're only two and four years old!

This past weekend, we were visiting with friends and the boys headed down to the basement to play.  Max has an obsession with people's basements and always has to check them out...I know, weird.  These friends have their own young kids, too, and their basement had some toys and such down there.  All seemed fine. 

After a short time, I heard the usual refrain: Finn crying.   Finn cries all the time.  It's his role as third child, I believe.  (Although, I can't be sure because, again, I was an only child!)   He just seems to always be crying to get attention or when someone does something he doesn't like.  Of course, I don't get up and rush because I've heard that cry so many times.  I'm sure the rest of the visitors were looking at me like "uh, don't you care that your son is crying?"  Yes, I'm a callous mom. 

Anyway, Daddy Crumb was already headed to get him and when they arrived at the top of the stairs, he had white foam all over his face and Daddy Crumb was carrying a yellow container of some kind. 

Apparently, Finnegan had been sprayed in the face with (toxic) foaming carpet cleaner. 

Great. 

We weren't sure if he ingested any but there was some in his eyes and nose.  Very uncomfortable.  Daddy Crumb had him in the bathroom rinsing him as best he could.  We then proceeded to call Telehealth (a health line) and they informed us we should watch for symptoms like coughing or respiratory issues, etc.  He seemed to be alright but we kept an eye on him.

Later, we found out Max and Finn both had cans of spray and were spraying each other with them.  I guess Finnegan was the unlucky one who, being only two, couldn't get his working. 

A few hours later, we were playing in the backyard and Max got angry at Finnegan for taking his toy or something similar (I can't even remember) and Max retaliated by pushing Finn into the wooden fort, giving him a bleeding and fat lip.  Needless to say, in addition to a few other things, Max received a serious talking to about how we treat people and why he needs to take care of his little brother.  (How many times have I had this conversation with that boy?!  Ugh!)

So....why do boys do this?  Why would four year old Max be so nasty to his little brother?   Am I the parent of the meanest boy on the planet?   Am I just a terrible parent who is raising gorilla boys?    Do brothers just do ridiculous stuff like this? 

Help me, oh great mothers (and others) of the blogosphere.  I need your advice and (hopefully) some sympathy.   How do you handle sibling relationships that get rough?